Newcastle United — Manchester City 0:4. It’s clear that the Saudis’ choice is Eddie Howe’s reputation as a young, innovative coach is unbreakable. But he’s not about the defense at all. Bournemouth’s defense, even in the best years for Cherries, has been fatally awful (that’s where Ake has picked up some dubious ideas).
Ederson. In a proper, albeit recent habit, dragged in the end from Wilson.
Joao Cancelo. Elegant goal for Ruben. And then just as colourful — passed, got two out of the way and banged in nine — scoring himself.
Laporte. Didn’t even allow a pre-counted ball into the frame. 4 selections
Ruben Dias. Magpies are kind. It was awkward to take advantage of their kindness, but such are the laws of football.
Zinchenko. Immediately reminded that he was there for a reason and he did well after Rodri’s cut-back. And almost immediately useful (by throwing to Joao) contributed to the first goal, and only then — with a luxurious hump — in the third. +3 rebounds and 3 steals
Rodri. Predictably repurposed a wild grove of forty into his garden plot. 3 selections and 90 assists
Kevin De Bruyne. Enjoyed the traditional sumptuous passes, but the teammates didn’t dispose of them.
Bernardo. Really beat everyone in the fucking mixer, though: could have scored with his own header, and discounted a roughly 97% chance for Jesus.
Mahrez. Dignifiedly plugged Zinchenko’s cross. By the way, Riyad was also awarded a goal (when Joao beat everyone and shot from afar).
Gabriel Jesus. Atkinson patiently explained that elbowing the Blues striker was not a breach of the rules, but a tribute to age-old tradition. 3 conversions and a goal to the empty net and Sterling.
Sterling. Maybe without much fire and fervour, but he ran in for his own goal.
So what a nice result: Newcastle United — Manchester City 0:4!